We all know jealousy isn't exactly a turn on. Is your relationship under pressure because you are extremely jealous? Do you want to be less jealous, but it simply doesn't work? We have listed 8 ways to get over your jealousy. Get rid of that poison green color, it's time to save your relationship!
When you are jealous, you are a star at making small arguments (read: arguments that are actually unnecessary) and say passive-aggressive things instead of talking about what is really bothering you. If you can say to your partner, "Hmm, I'm actually jealous because you went to the bar with that male colleague last night.", You're well on your way. Acknowledging that you have feelings of jealousy is an important first step.
Try looking at your relationship from a different perspective and do this, for example, from the point of view of your friends. Take your best friend Emmy as an example. If you were Emmy and you heard about the situation that makes you jealous, how would Emmy (you) react to it? Would it make you panic or would you think it is completely normal and there is no cause for concern?
So you think you saw your partner flirting with one of your best friends. Congratulations. You can also put a positive spin on the situation and see how nice it is that your partner gets along so well with your friends. Besides, the flirtation you thought you saw was most likely completely harmless. Everyone flirts, sometimes without even realizing it. It doesn't have to mean you want to act on it right away!
Just because you are jealous does not mean that something is actually going to happen. Just because you suspect that your partner finds that new coworker very attractive doesn't mean that they are sleeping together and that he has already bought her a ring to propose this weekend. Calm your mo'fo tits. If you don't have proof of this, don't create doom scenarios in your head. If you're really going to eat yourself from the inside out, talk to your partner about it.
Sometimes when we have a feeling of jealousy towards our partner, it's really just because we're angry with him or her for a completely different reason. Maybe they forgot your birthday or they've been paying less attention to you lately. Rather than just talking about it, it's easier to suddenly become suspicious of everything they do. It may not be completely conscious, but it happens often enough.
Just because you have a feeling doesn't mean you have to act on it. Like jealousy, anger is also an emotion. Being angry doesn't mean you have to throw things or punch the nearest person a few punches. You can just realize that you are experiencing a feeling of anger and try to calm down so that it passes. The same goes for jealousy.
You may be worried that your partner is cheating on you because your ex-partner cheated on you or your mom and dad broke up because your mom was skating crookedly, but that situation isn't the same as you are in now (I hope). Your current partner has no affiliation with anything that has been before, so it's not fair to put them in the same league as people who hurt you or the people you loved in the past.
The last step is difficult, but it has everything to do with self-love. Believing in true love may be a big thing, but believe you deserve someone to love you. Often times, we are jealous because a part of us believes that we cannot be loved and that our partner can get a lot better, so it's clear they would and will. But it just is not true. Remember this: You, right now, with all your flaws, shortcomings and struggles; you are a wonderful person, loving, funny and worthy to have a devoted partner. As Emmy sang several times: “Let it go!”.
© The Stringpoint Group
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